


Through Stranger's Eyes

by swiftkryptonian



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, One Shot Collections
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-04-29 02:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14463015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swiftkryptonian/pseuds/swiftkryptonian
Summary: AU one-shot collections of Seulgi and Irene's relationship seen through another person's POV.





	1. Yeri

**Author's Note:**

> I just thought it would be interesting to write about how strangers (people outside of the relationship) sees Seulrene. Everything may or may not be written in second person POV because that's how ideas come to me lately. Lastly, I don't know how many chapters this will be yet. As long as the ideas keep coming, I'll be writing (or trying).

 

_"I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me. "  
_

_\- Steve Maraboli_

 

* * *

 

You just got home from class. You toss your bag on the bed and take off your uniform and change into something more loose and homey. You walk to the kitchen, open the fridge and scan for something edible. 

(It’s Park Sooyoung’s fault that you didn’t have lunch today. The giant wanted you to accompany her to a new makeup store opening. You’re just glad you two made it back in time for your next class.)

Then you find a tupperware with a purple sticky note: _I saw this on the market. I hope you’ll like it. - BJH_

You can’t help the grin that forms on your face when you open the tupperware. It’s your favorite banana roti.

 _Thank you for the banana roti,_ _unnie_ _!,_ you text your older sister before taking a bite of the delicious treat.

You’re enjoying the food while watching a drama when a knock on the door startles you. You glance at the clock. It’s too early for your sister to come home yet. So that just means one other person.

With no hesitation, you swing the door open. A tall girl - _taller than you, at least_ \- with long dark brown hair comes to sight. Eyes turning into crescents as she smiles. Then without saying anything, she proudly shows you two boxes of pizza that she brought with her.

“Ah, Seulgi-unnie, you’re the best!” You say excitedly, grabbing the boxes of pizza from her. You let her in before shutting the door close. “Joohyun-unnie will be home in an hour.”

“Do you think she’s eaten dinner by then?” she asks.

You shrug, “Probably not. You know my sister.”

Seulgi pouts. “Can I borrow your kitchen?”

You look at her intently. “Do you want my sister to decapitate me?” you ask dramatically. “Joohyun-unnie owns the kitchen and the laundry room, Seulgi-unnie. I have no power over those sacred places.”

“I promise not to burn anything down. Please, Yerim.” She pleads. “I just want to make dinner for my girlfriend.”

You think about it. Seulgi isn’t a bad cook. A clumsy one maybe but not bad at all. She just wants to cook something for your sister. And knowing your sister and how hardworking she is, she probably skipped some meals again today.

Joohyun leaves home before the sun rises so you never see her in the morning unless you wake up early, which never happens. But even then, she always makes sure you have a good breakfast and, if you’re luckier, a packed lunch for school. She always does the laundry every other day. (You once insisted that you should help to lessen her workload but then she says she can do it by herself since it’s her favorite thing to do, second to ironing clothes. But you know better, she just doesn’t trust you with her beloved fabric softeners.) Then Joohyun comes home at night and she will cook dinner for the both of you. You know she’s exhausted but doesn’t say anything.

You want to help her, of course. Even with the little things in the house. But she always refuses, insisting that you should just focus on your studies and enjoy your teenage life as much as possible. Although you appreciate the thought, you still can’t help but feel bad at the same time. Joohyun, being a breadwinner and raising you alone since both of your parents died two years ago, has always been burdened by the responsibilities of being the eldest.

_Okay._

Maybe you should let Seulgi cook for her this time. Maybe you can do this for her. Maybe this is worth decapitating for later.

“Don’t ruin Joohyun-unnie’s non-stick frying pans, you hear me?” It’s not a threat, more like a not-so-gentle reminder. You just don’t want Seulgi to end up hearing the same long dramatic eulogy about her non-stick frying pan that you apparently murdered.

“You got it!” Seulgi says with a salute and rushes to the kitchen.

Oh, well. If you’re lucky, you’ll be repleted later as well.

 

* * *

 

You help Seulgi set the table for the three of you.

“Unnie, you’re shaking.” You can’t help but point out the way her hands tremble as she lays down the plates and utensils on the table.

“I’m just a little nervous,” she says.

“Why? It’s just dinner, unnie.”

“Actually, it’s not _just_ dinner.” Seulgi puts down the last spoon. She faces you. “Yerim, can I talk to you?”

You chuckle, “You’re already talking to me, Seulgi-unnie.”

“I - it’s kind of serious.”

“I can be serious.” Seulgi quirks an eyebrow. “Really, unnie! Just tell me now.”

“As if I have any other choice,” she mumbles. Seulgi takes off her apron and moves to the living room. She grabs something from her sling bag then comes back to the table.

You freeze, staring with wide eyes at what your sister’s girlfriend is holding.

A fancy-looking black velvet box.

“Joohyun only has you, Yerim. You’re her family. She values you more than anyone in this world. I know your sister is the most important person in your life and I promise she is mine too. I want her to be the most important person in my life for a long time and it would mean a lot to me to have your blessing.”

You swear whatever it is that's streaming down your cheeks are  _not_  tears.

“I want to propose to her tonight … if that’s okay with you, of course.”

You wipe the not-tears in your eyes. You shove her shoulder playfully. “As if I would let my sister end up with any other dumbass!” you say laughingly.

Seulgi looks somewhat insulted but not surprised. It’s you after all.

She smiles widely.

 

* * *

 

Joohyun comes home fifteen minutes later than usual. You know she’s worn out from work even though she masks it with a smile. She kisses the top of your head and you lean in a little closer, eventually surprising you both because you subconsciously wrap your arms around her waist.

You never hug your sister … until now.

“Wow, Yerimie. Is the world coming to an end?” Joohyun teases.

You hug her tighter. “Shut up, unnie.”

You feel a soft pat on the back of your head. She embraces you back warmly.

“Hey, my turn now!” Seulgi protests, pulling you away from your sister. Joohyun giggles and lets you go.

Seulgi pulls your sister into a warm embrace. Joohyun puts an arm on Seulgi’s shoulders and closes her eyes, relaxing into her girlfriend’s arms. You see how the weary look on her face disappears the moment she rests her head on Seulgi’s shoulder. And as if the two couldn’t get any closer, Seulgi hugs her tighter, lifting the shorter girl.

“Put me down,” Joohyun commands, giggling.

Seulgi obeys. “I missed you, Hyun.” she tells your sister.

Joohyun kisses Seulgi’s cheek before giving a smile only reserved for her. “I missed you too, Seul.”

Normally, you would gag at their cheesy display of affection. Seulgi always acts like she hasn’t seen Joohyun for years when in fact, they see each other every day without fail. Seulgi either waits for her outside work and walks her home or just goes straight into the apartment and plays video games with you while you both wait for Joohyun to come home.

But today, you let them have it. They are cute, anyway. But you will never let them know that.

“Come on, gays. We need to eat,” you interrupt the mushy _i-_ _cannot_ _-believe-you-are-_ _real_ staring contest between your sister and her girlfriend happening in front of you. “You can do that later and I promise to lock myself in my room and listen to music very loudly so I won’t hear you.”

Seulgi’s face quickly turns red and Joohyun stares at you in disbelief. That makes you proud of yourself.

Seulgi doesn’t disappoint with the cooking and it seems Joohyun will not decapitate you for letting someone else work in her kitchen. But it doesn’t surprise you really. Seulgi, for Joohyun, is always an exception.

This is the first time you hear your sister talk - _complain_ \- about her work. Every time you ask about her day, she manages to swiftly change the topic and ask about yours instead. So you usually don’t ask. But with Seulgi being here, everything seems easier for her. 

“When are you going to ask?” you hiss when you put the last plate in the sink while she washes the dishes. “I thought you’re going to ask her during the dinner. Did you suddenly change your mind?”

“No, of course not. I just couldn’t find a perfect timing during the dinner.” Seulgi whispers apprehensively. 

“Unnie, there’s no such thing as a perfect timing. You just gotta go for it!” you reply as eagerly and softly as possible.

“I will,” Seulgi assures you. “After I wash these.”

You roll your eyes. “Move,” you take over her spot. “I’ll do this. Now, do your thing!”

“But -”

You shoot her a death glare. She sighs in defeat.

Seulgi dries her hand. She grabs the small velvet box that she hid in one of the drawers and holds it behind her back before dragging her quivering feet to the living room where Joohyun relaxes, feet up on the coffee table and head resting against a throw pillow.

Seulgi clears her throat a little loudly. Joohyun blinks.

“Is there a problem?” the older girl questions. “You seem nervous.”

“I - I am.”

Joohyun puts down her feet and sits properly. “What is it, Seul?” she asks, brows furrowing.

It’s now or never and with one sharp intake of breath, Seulgi gets down on one knee.

Joohyun gasps. And even if you knew what is about to happen, so do you.

“I … I really didn’t prepare a speech so I’ll just say whatever goes through my head right now.” Seulgi forces a laugh. “Bae Joohyun, you make me feel a lot of things beyond my comprehension. I don’t understand how one person can have this much impact in my life. H - how one person can make me laugh and cry and lose my mind at the same time. You … you’re unreal. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure you’re not just a dream or a figment of my imagination." Seulgi sucks in a breath before continuing, "You and I have been through hell and back and I’d do everything over and over again as long as I am with you ... because little did I know the first time I met you that I’d be seeing the rest of my life. And if the way you look is an indication of how my future would look then _damn_. I’m so lucky, aren’t I?”

Seulgi dries her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt. Joohyun is smiling through the tears. You swear you should be vomiting at the greasiness but tonight, you feel like a different person. You feel like crying as well.

“I already asked Yerim’s blessing.” They both briefly look at you and you flash a teary but still smug smile. “Now, all I need is your answer.” Seulgi opens the small box clumsily, almost losing her balance, and pulls out the ring. “Bae Joohyun, will you marry me?”

It feels like the longest ten seconds of your life. You see your sister dive into the younger girl’s body, maybe aiming for a hug but Seulgi yelps as they both fall on the floor instead. She catches her though; she always does. Joohyun is now crying uncontrollably on top of a surprised Seulgi.

“Hyun, I kinda need an answe -”

“Yes!” Joohyun answers loudly. “Of course, yes.”

There goes the breath that you didn’t realize were holding in.

“I love you so much,” Joohyun tells her, meaning every word. “I love you so much, Kang Seulgi.”

“I love you so much more,” Seulgi says.

“That’s debatable.”

You pretend to not see anything and focus on washing the dishes instead just when they’re about to kiss … or make out. You have a feeling that you’ll see more of _that_ \- or worse - in the future. But you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Don’t forget to put a ring on it, Kang!” you yell.

“Oh yeah, the ring!”

“Where is it?”

“You were the one holding it.”

“It must be here somewhere.”

“God, why are you so clumsy.”

“You practically jumped on me!”

“Oh, here it is.”

“Oh thank god, that cost me two months of my salary.”

“Yah! Are you regretting buying me a ring now?”

“Never.”

You shake your head with a smile. _These two idiots._

 


	2. Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actress!Irene and Red Velvet Leader!Seulgi.

_"I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe in seeing someone from across the room and knowing instantly that they’re going to matter to you."  
_

_\- Ryan O’Connell_

 

 

* * *

 

 

The concert has just ended. You feel your muscles become sore and a headache coming sooner than later. Wendy must have noticed the way you massage the side of your head, hoping that it would somehow relieve the current spinning and a little bit of pounding on your head. She gives you an aspirin and bottle of water.

 

“Thank you, unnie.”

 

“No problem,” she says with a smile. “Get some rest later.”

 

“I sure will.”

 

Wendy leaves the dressing room, probably to check if anyone needs assistance. She’s always been like that - taking care of everyone. Most of the time you have to make sure she doesn’t forget to take care of herself too.

 

The crew are currently packing up and cleaning the stage. The makeup artists and hairstylists are doing the same with their equipment. You see one of the managers pass by and taking a call from what you assume is another representative from a CF that the group is scheduled to shoot tomorrow. You already feel even more exhausted upon remembering how packed your schedule is the next day.

 

You close your eyes for a minute but then -

 

The maknae, Yeri, swaggers in with a petite woman wearing a black Nike cap on. Yeri has her hand rested on the woman’s shoulder. “Guess who’s here!” she says a little too loud.

 

“God, what are you so damn loud -” Your hands fly over your mouth when you realize who the woman beside Yeri is. Eyes growing wide. “Miss Bae Irene!” You gasp in awe.

 

Bae Irene, the famous young actress from Daegu, who recently won two acting awards for her new rom-com movie. You have watched her dramas and movies since before your debut with Red Velvet. You even have a signed poster of her in your bedroom at home; it’s the reason you missed one of your practices during your trainee days.

 

How does Yeri even know someone as influential as her?

 

Irene takes off her cap. “Hi, Joy.” She greets you with a warm smile.

 

“H - hi,” you stutter. You have met a lot of celebrities since your trainee days. You even met Irene before too. But this time it’s different. You’re not just some stuttering fan with shaking hands, which you proudly used to be. She apparently knows you now. You feel like your heart is about to break your ribs with how fast your heart is beating.

 

Yeri laughs at you. “Unnie, she’s a really big fan of yours. She has a poster with your autograph in it back home.” The little devil vouches. You shoot Yeri a glare but she only rolls her eyes and smirks.

 

“Really?” Irene giggles. “That’s nice to know.”

 

“I - I’m a big fan since your first drama, Irene-sunbaenim.” You say as calm as possible. The two of you shake hands and you swear her hands are the smallest and softest thing you’ve ever held. You almost don’t want to let go but that could freak her out. “Did you watch the concert, sunbaenim?”

 

“Unnie, she’s literally in the front row," Yeri answers for the actress instead. “Didn’t you see some fans trying to take a selfie with her in the crowd?”

 

You may have seen it, of course. But with the blinding lights and loud fanchants crowding your head during the performances, maybe you didn’t even get to have a good look at her.

 

“Stop being so rude, you midget.” Irene flicks Yeri’s forehead and the younger one retaliates with, “Look who’s talking. Oh, it’s a dwarf!”

 

How did these two even know each other? And why did Yeri not even tell you?

 

“Your face is screaming top ten anime betrayals, unnie.” The maknae laughs out loud.

 

The pounding of your head stops. Aspirin must have worked. Or maybe Irene is just _that_ powerful that she relieves your headache without knowing it even exists.

 

Before you can even reply, Seulgi, the group’s leader, comes in the dressing room, still dressed in a black suit from her solo stage. She loudly slams the door close. “Our shooting is mo - _oh my god!_ ” Seulgi freezes, face flushing in an instant. She takes a few steps back, hand searching for something to hold onto. Is she going to faint?

 

“Unnie, as you know, our leader, Kang Seulgi.” Yeri introduces. You swear Irene’s eyes sparkle when she turns around and sees your leader. A dreamy smile form on her lips.

 

You almost feel jealous. _Almost._

 

Irene bows at Seulgi. Seulgi does the same, only in a more awkward way.

 

“I - I’m sorry, I - Irene sunbaenim.” Seulgi apologizes, bowing once again. “I didn’t know you were here.”

 

“I brought her in here, unnie. It’s okay, right?” Yeri asks innocently.

 

“Of - of course. Why not?” Seulgi forces a laugh. “It’s nice to meet you, Bae Irene-ssi.”

 

You suppress a laugh. Kang Seulgi and her great gay panic.

 

“Being her little cousin, you’d think I’d be her favorite member but no. It’s you, Seulgi-unnie.” The maknae lets out a dramatic sigh and flips her hair before checking herself out in the mirror, leaving Irene and Seulgi flustered staring at each other.

 

_Cousins?_

 

Oh, you’re going to kill Yeri once you get back to the dorm.

 

“That’s … an honor, actually. Thank you, sunbaenim.” Seulgi smiles gratefully. “I’m - I’m a big fan too.” Pause. “Of you! Big fan of you.”

 

You and Yeri share an embarrassed look.

 

“Didn’t you say you hate her last drama though?” You squint at your leader.

 

Seulgi’s eyes widen again. “I - I didn’t! No, I never said that!” she answers defensively. If Seulgi could shoot lasers from her eyes, you’d be ashes by now.

 

You don’t expect Irene to let out a loud, angelic laugh. “It’s fine if you did though,” the actress tells her. “I even hate some of the dramas I worked on.”

 

“Don’t let your managers hear that, unnie.” Yeri chuckles.

 

“I - I don’t … I didn’t say I hate it though.” Seulgi insists, worried that she might have offended the actress. “I just … hate the plot. It’s not on your acting, I swear. You’re a good actress, sunbaenim.”

 

Irene’s blush sears through her cheeks. She purses her lips and tucks her hair behind her ear. Being a fan of her for years, following her projects and on social media, you know enough what the gesture means. She only does that when she’s shy or doing her _aegyo_. And right now, you’re confused which one is it.

 

“Can we take a picture together, Seulgi?” Irene asks Seulgi.

 

Seulgi can only nod dumbly after ten seconds of gaping at the actress. You can only bury your face in your hands in embarrassment. Yeri is already showing you the pictures she took of Seulgi’s dumbfounded pause. You wouldn’t be surprised if it ends up on the group’s instagram account later.

 

They take a picture together. Two on Irene’s phone and three on Seulgi’s.

 

“Me too, sunbaenim!” You say excitedly, taking out your phone from your purse. As if you would let this opportunity pass and let Seulgi get all the glory. You command Yeri to take the picture and surprisingly, the youngest willingly obliges. Irene is kind enough to do four different poses with you; one of which is her famous toothache pose.

 

“Wow, I’m so small.” Irene says in awe upon seeing the pictures on your phone.

 

You laugh. It’s true though. She looks small next to you.

 

“Is it alright if I post this on our account later, sunbaenim?”

 

“Why not? And please, unnie would be just fine, Joy.”

 

“Can I call you unnie too?” Seulgi surprisingly cuts in, suddenly popping up between you and Irene. If you weren’t taller, she’d be blocking your entire view of the actress. “I -if that’s fine with you, of course. I don’t want to be rude or -”

 

“Tell you what, Seulgi,” Irene runs a hand on Seulgi’s lapel, smoothing out the ruffled part. “You can call me whatever you want if you agree to go on a date with me.” The actress flashes an innocent smile.

 

Would it be so rude to suddenly choke on air?

 

“Ah, Joohyun-unnieeeee!” Yeri screams in disgust, covering her ears and closing her eyes. “I’m telling Taeyeon-unnie! How could you do this to me and my innocence!?” The maknae runs towards your side. She links your arms together and tugs you away. “Sooyoung-unnie, let’s go bleach our eyes.”

 

Seulgi’s mouth opens and closes in attempt to answer coherently but she ends up just swallowing nervously.

 

You let Yeri drag you out of the dressing room, leaving the two girls alone. You can’t help but shake your head and giggle.

 

It’s going to be a long night teasing your leader when you and the girls get back to the dorm later.

 


	3. Taeyeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyeon is Joohyun's older sister. Joohyun is suffering from amnesia.

_"If I ever forget all the things I need, all the smiles in the world I love, just show me all of you. With each of your hand on each side of my face, make me look into your eyes. Make me see the world through your eyes. I swear I will remember then. I swear."  
_

_\- Lukas W._

 

* * *

 

There is a cafe downtown that you always go to every single day for a month now. You aren’t fond of places like this, not fond of going out unless it’s for work or grocery shopping. You’re a homebody after all. Home is a comfort zone; your room is your safe space. But it’s not like you have much of a choice, anyway.

 

You’re lucky the cafe offers good food and drinks. It doesn’t hurt that the place has a relaxing ambiance and kind service staff as well.

 

Wendy, one of the waitresses in the cafe, opens the door for you with a smile. “Good evening, ma’am. Here again, I see.” she comments.

 

“I come here every day and yet you won’t stop calling me ma’am.” You already told her before to call you by your name instead or at least _unnie_.

 

“It’s a workplace and you’re a customer, ma’am.”

 

“Gosh, you’re so formal.” You let out a sigh. “Anyway, have you seen my sister?”

 

“Oh, I haven’t seen her come in here yet.”

 

You check your watch. It’s almost 7:00PM. She’s usually here before 6:30.

 

A slight worry washes over your face and Wendy noticed this so she says, “I’m sure she’s on her way. She probably just got stuck in traffic or something.”

 

Last time she didn’t show up, it’s _something._

 

“She walks on the way here,” you reason.

 

“Maybe she -”

 

“Unnie!” You and Wendy turn around at the bubbly sound of a petite girl with light brown hair entering the cafe. It’s your younger sister carrying a grocery bag. You sigh in relief.

 

“I had to stop by a grocery because there are fabric softeners on sale! And it’s my favorite ones!” She says cheerfully, too cheerful for someone who’s holding a grocery bag containing three purple fabric softeners. You can’t blame her though. You two are much alike and you’d probably be just as excited as her if you aren’t worried about her whereabouts first.

 

Wendy laughs before returning to her post and opening the door for the incoming customers.

 

“You should have texted me, Joohyun.” You tell her softly. “I thought something happened to you.”

 

“I’m fine though,” Joohyun says. She walks to her favorite seat and you follow her. “Stop worrying about me, unnie.”

 

“How can I not be?”

 

It’s her turn to sigh. “Honestly, unnie, I’m not a child.”

 

You know that. Although she may be a little small for someone her age, Joohyun is not a child. But she’s human and _god_ , she’s fragile. You’re always reminded of that fact every time you see the permanent vertical scar on her face, just a little above her left eyebrow. Or the surgical suture marks on her right forearm.

 

You almost lost your sister once. So how can you not be worried?

 

It pisses you off. It drives you mad. You can’t even get angry with her.

 

“I’ll order,” you just say instead. “The usual?”

 

Joohyun pouts, thinking. “I want to have something else today.”

 

You raise an eyebrow. “Huh, you trying something new?”

 

“I had a dream about eating Coffee and Cream cake.”

 

“You hate coffee though.”

 

“And yet we’re in a coffee shop.” She laughs. “I’ll have Coffee and Cream cake, unnie. And water.”

 

“If you say so,” you shrug.

 

You are met by a familiar face when you approached the counter. No one is ordering yet so she’s leaning against the wall and too occupied mumbling something to herself to see you approaching. A smile creeps on your face.

 

“Hi, Seulgi.” you greet the woman behind the counter.

 

Seulgi looks at you. She smiles back. “Taeyeon-unnie, nice to see you again of course.”

 

“I see your wardrobe hasn’t expanded,” you remark. The girl seems like she has an entire closet of flannel shirts and skirts because that’s all she ever wears since you have known her.

 

Seulgi just shrugs. “You can never have too many flannels.” She chuckles. “What can I get you today? The usual?”

 

“The usual for me. Joohyun wants something else.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Coffee and Cream cake,” you tell Seulgi.  “She said that she had a dream about eating one so I guess it’s what she’s craving now. Does that mean something to you, Seulgi?”

 

Seulgi gulps for air. Eyes suddenly glistening with tears she’s trying hard to hold back. She blinks a few times before punching in your order.

 

Perhaps you shouldn’t have asked.

 

“It’s what I ordered for myself during our first date,” Seulgi answers then hands out your receipt. “She asked for a bite but then she ate the entire slice.” She chuckles at the memory. “Unnie, does she … does she remember anything? About me and her … uh, us?”

 

“I haven’t asked her today yet.”

 

“Oh … okay.”

 

It breaks your heart seeing Seulgi so hopeful yet so hopeless every day, pining over your sister who doesn’t even have the slightest bit of memory of her girlfriend of five years.

 

“I will tell you when she remembers, okay?”

 

Seulgi nods. “How is she? Is she doing okay?”

 

“She has therapy sessions for the next few months. Her physical wounds are all healed. She still gets headaches from time to time.”

 

Seulgi’s gaze travels on Joohyun sitting on the corner. She’s already looking at her with furrowed brows. Seulgi forces a laugh. “Unnie, I think you need to get back to her. She’s already shooting lasers on my skull.” You chuckle. “I’ll prepare your order.”

 

When you get back to your seat, Joohyun immediately leans forward, hands propping on the table. “Unnie, do you know her?”

 

“Know who?” You ask dumbly.

 

“That girl,” she points at Seulgi with her lips. “Did you date her?”

 

You almost choke on your own saliva at the ridiculousness.

 

Your sister leans closer to you. “Are you dating her?”

 

Now, you really choke on your own saliva. “Wha - what? That’s ridiculous, Hyun! She’s younger than you.”

 

“Oh. Okay …” Joohyun leans back on her seat with an innocent pout. “Can I tell you a secret, unnie?”

 

“You can tell me anything.”

 

“It’s weird,” Joohyun starts. “I’ve been having dreams about this place for over a month now.”

 

“Isn’t that why we’re always here and you’re always having sweets for dinner?”

 

“Yeah, but …” She’s going to do it again. You stop her hand from touching the wound on her forehead. “Sorry,” Joohyun mumbles before continuing, “Anyway, I … there’s something familiar about this place, unnie. I can feel it.”

 

“What’s the weird part?”

 

“There’s a girl in my dreams.”

 

“The girl of your dreams, you mean.” You tease her.

 

“I’m serious, unnie.” You chuckle under her glare. “Am I gay?”

 

If Joohyun isn’t suffering from amnesia and she still has her memories intact, this would be the funniest thing you ever heard her say.

 

“Unnie, am I?” she repeats.

 

“You’ve never had a relationship with the opposite sex, Hyun.”

 

“Did I ever have a relationship?”

 

_Well ..._

 

You are about to answer when Seulgi comes to your table. “Good evening, ladies. Here’s your order.” The waitress lays down your orders on the table. “I hope you enjoy the food.”

 

“We will. Thank you,” you reply.

 

Seulgi smiles at you. She winks - badly but cutely - at Joohyun. You suppress a chuckle as you watch your sister become flustered.

 

“Why does she wink at me every time?” Joohyun hisses at you the moment Seulgi leaves. “Isn’t she like into you or something?”

 

“Joohyun, once and for all, she’s not into me.”

 

“But you two always talk too long when you order.”

 

You bury your face in your palm in frustration. “It’s not like _that_ , Hyun. Not like that at all.” You insist with a grimace. “We’re just really close friends.”

 

“Close friends? How come you never told me about her?” Joohyun takes a bite of the cake she ordered. “How did you know - _wait, what’s her name_?”

 

“Seulgi.”

 

“Yeah, how did you know her?”

 

“Why are you so curious about this now?” There’s a small part of you that hopes this means something. That maybe she remembers her. That maybe she wants to get to know her, at least.

 

Joohyun shifts uneasily in her seat, looking at you in confusion and dismay. “Unnie, I keep seeing her in my dreams,” she says softly. “I don’t know why.”

 

“When did it start?”

 

“A few days after we started going here. I didn’t say anything because I thought it’s just normal. I mean, you have strangers in your dreams too, right?”

 

You only nod in response. You had to stop yourself from blurting out that lately, your dreams have been filled with cars and cries and the image of your sister, lying on the road, bathing in her own blood, surrounded by strangers calling for help.

 

“I’ve been having dreams about her every night since then,” Joohyun says and judging by the look on her face, it looks like a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders. “In my dreams, it’s always raining and she’s under a tunnel. She stays there, just standing and feeling the rain on her palm.” She demonstrates the action then carries on, “I feel some sort of connection with her but I don’t know how or why. I don’t even know what she _was_ to me or if she even meant something to me in the first place.”

 

Watching Joohyun get frustrated brings you back to the first few days in the hospital. You were there the whole time. You watched her lying unconscious on the hospital bed with stitches on her face, arms, and legs. Her fair skin was stained with wounds and bruises. You thought that was already the worst part. You weren’t ready for the part where she wakes up and not a remember a thing about her existence. You weren’t ready for her muffled sobs as she tries to recover, not just physically but mentally and emotionally, too.

 

_It hurt._

 

The doctors said not to force information into her just yet, that you should take it easy. So, you did. It felt weird to introduce yourself to your own sister and tell her about things about herself. But who would do it better than you, her sister who has been with her since she was born?

 

Joohyun is the only family you have left. Your parents have forgotten about you and your sister’s existence since their divorce ten years ago. The last news you heard about them is that your mother married some sort of influential Japanese man and your father is in jail for being a drug addict. None of your relatives cared enough for the both of you so you did everything - _work in a convenience store, sell art online, finish your degree through full scholarship_ \- to raise your sister.

 

And so it hurts.

 

It hurts being the only one to remember about things you two have been through. But you’re still thankful. Joohyun is still here. She lives. She exists. You’re thankful that the universe didn’t take your sister away from you. At least in this way, you can still tell her about the things she missed.

 

“Joohyun?”

 

“Hmm?” Joohyun taps her fingers as she cuts the cake into small pieces with her fork.

 

“Do you remember anything?”

 

“About?”

 

“Just … anything prior to the accident.”

 

Joohyun frowns. “Honestly? I don’t know which ones are old memories and which ones are made up, unnie. Everything’s confusing.”

 

“Seulgi is a memory,” you blurt out. Joohyun raises an eyebrow at that. “Before the accident, you’re supposed to meet us in here.”

 

She looks more confused than ever.

 

“It was your fifth anniversary. Seulgi told me she was going to propose. She wanted me to be there along with your other friends. But then you didn’t show up because ...” The rest chokes on the back of your throat. You just can’t bear to say it and be reminded of ambulance sirens and, _god_ , there’s blood everywhere.

 

Joohyun doesn’t shed a tear but her face contorts into a genuine grief. And you regret ever telling her because the grief turns into guilt and now she’s running away. You call out her name but Joohyun is too far gone.

 

“What happened?” Seulgi asks worriedly.

 

You aggressively run a hand through your hair. “Sh - she asked about you so I told her and … and she just stormed out!”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know.” You grab your things and the grocery bag Joohyun forgot to bring. “Just help me, Seulgi,” you plead helplessly.

 

“I’ll cover for you,” Wendy, who you didn’t even notice was standing behind you, says. “Go!”

 

“Thank you, Wendy.” Seulgi says and removes her apron, quickly shoving it on Wendy’s waiting hands.

 

The first thing you and Seulgi go to is your apartment. Only to find it still locked and empty. No sign of Joohyun coming home. You ask the neighbors if they saw your sister but none of them gave a helpful answer. You check the neighborhood; Seulgi goes to the left and you go the right. You dial her phone number a couple of times, trying to call her every two minutes only to be ignored until the phone doesn’t ring anymore, which doesn’t help the anxiety settling on the pit of your stomach.

 

It’s two hours before midnight when you two meet back at the gate of the apartment.

 

“I can’t find her. I already asked -”

 

“Does she remember anything, unnie?” Seulgi asks, breathing heavily. “Did she tell you anything about a place or … or I don’t know, something?”

 

You sit on the sidewalk, trying to clear your head. You try to recollect your conversation. The anxiety subsides a little when feel Seulgi sitting beside you.

 

_Take a deep breath in. And out._

 

Then it hits you. “She said something about a tunnel,” you recall. “Something about rain and seeing you under a tunnel.”

 

_“In my dreams, it’s always raining and she’s under a tunnel. She stays there, just standing and feeling the rain on her palm.”_

 

You’ve never seen Seulgi concentrate this much before.

 

“I might know where she is,” the younger girl finally whispers, suddenly optimistic. “Let’s go, unnie!” She stands up and takes your hand.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“Where your sister might be,” she answers cryptically.

 

You hate cryptic answers and yet you follow her anyway.

 

You have no idea where you’re going until the taxi halts in the back of a familiar apartment building just a few blocks away from the cafe where Seulgi works.

 

“Isn’t this where you live?”

 

“Yes. And she’s here,” Seulgi says in a relieved tone.

 

“Where?”

 

“There,” Seulgi points out a silhouette of a girl standing under a small overpass tunnel.

 

“Joohyun!” You call out her name but she stays still. You walk towards her, slowly and carefully, afraid she might run away again. Seulgi mimics your action.

 

Joohyun looks lost.

 

She _is_ lost.

 

“I … I don’t know why I’m here,” she stammers. “It’s like my feet know places that my brain doesn’t and it just took me here. It’s … it’s …” Joohyun’s lip quivers along with her hands. “I don’t remember and … and I’m … I’m scared.”

 

You feel Seulgi’s hand on your wrist, silently asking for permission to approach your sister. You let her.

 

Seulgi is careful too. She takes small steps towards Joohyun. “This is where we first met,” Seulgi says. And even in the dark, you can see her smiling at the memory. “See, that’s where I live,” Seulgi points at the only unlit room in the third floor of the building. “I was on my way up when I saw you under this tunnel. It was raining hard so I gave you my umbrella. You declined at first, insisting that it will be over soon, but then the thunder and lightning scared you. You had no choice but to accept and rush home.”

 

“Then, you gave it back to me the next day.” Seulgi concludes with a chuckle.

 

“How?”

 

“You’re smart and I have my name and work address on it. It’s a freebie from the coffee shop anyway.”

 

 _That was smooth_ , you think.

 

Joohyun looks down. “I’m sorry,” she whispers sadly. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you, Seulgi. I want to … I just … I don’t.”

 

“Hey,” Seulgi warily holds your sister’s hand. “It’s okay. It will take some time.”

 

“But … what if I don’t remember at all? What if -”

 

“Then we’ll just make new memories for you to keep,” Seulgi says with newfound determination. “Your sister, our friends, me … we’ll help you create new memories.”

 

“I really want to remember you though,” Joohyun cries. “I really want to. It’s unfair you have all these memories of me and I don’t have any of you.”

 

“Joohyun,” you step in. “There’s really no pressure. Give it more time, Hyun.”

 

It’s already been four months since the accident, half of which is spent in the hospital and the other half spent trying to learn about herself and her life.

 

_Give it more time._

 

“It’s fine. I’ll remember for the both of us,” Seulgi says sweetly. The younger girl is now clinging to your sister’s arm and you’re surprised that she is not pulling away considering Seulgi might still be a stranger to her.

 

Joohyun looks up at Seulgi with big round eyes. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to. They seem to understand each other even without words.

 

It makes you smile. You finally feel at ease. Just like how you felt back then every time you look at them.

 

You have high hopes for these two and you know in your heart that no matter what, they will find their way back to each other. Lost memories or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not confident about this one but I hope you still like it somehow.


	4. Wendy

_"How quickly jealous I become of the wind when it, and not I, gets the privilege of properly messing up your hair."_

_\- Tyler Knott Gregson_

 

* * *

 

It is your second attempt at making salted caramel cupcakes and so far, you don’t feel confident about it. You checked the recipe,  examine the measurements and followed the directions but somehow the final products still lack something.

 

“Unnie, we might get diabetes if you keep this up,” Yeri says yet she continues gnawing what’s left of the first batch of cupcakes you made.

 

“It’s already good, unnie.” Saeron, Yeri’s girlfriend, says before taking another bite from Yeri’s cupcake. “How many are you planning to make?”

 

“Until I perfect the whole thing,” you answer grumpily. You take out another batch and feed it to the young couple. “It’s too salty.”

 

Saeron smells the cupcake first before taking one and getting a taste. “It’s not that bad,” she comments. But you don’t believe her. She looks the type of person that wants to be nice all the time even if it means she lies.

 

Yeri, on the other hand, can be brutally honest. Maybe you can trust her judgment. Maybe.

 

“Honestly, unnie, you need to calm down.” Yeri grabs your arm and pulls you on the chair to sit down. “These are all good and Joy-unnie will like them just fine. You know that giant will eat anything! She’s not exactly a food critic!”

 

“ _That_ giant is my girlfriend,” you pout. “It’s our 100 day anniversary. I want to give her something good.”

 

“But these cupcakes are good though,” Saaeron assures you.

 

“It doesn’t taste and look like they’re good enough.”

 

“I will break Joy-unnie’s jaw if she doesn’t find these cupcakes delicious. Mark my words, Son Seungwan.” Yeri points her index finger at you. Saeron is quick in smacking the back of her girlfriend’s head. “Yah! What was that for?”

 

“You’re not helping, midget.”

 

You let out a laugh as you watch the two bicker in your kitchen. Perhaps it’s time to take a break before making another batch. You make sure you’ll get it right the next time.

 

You remove the apron and go to the living room where you find Irene curled up on the couch and reading a book. She has her hair down just enough to cover her face and the book. Was she even reading?

 

But then you notice the rise and fall of her shoulders and the quiet muffled sobs.

 

Is she crying?

 

“Hey,” you say softly, sliding in next to her. “What are you reading, unnie?”

 

Irene wipes off her tears with the sleeve of her sweater before showing you the cover page of the book. _Stop Being Jealous and Insecure_ by James Umber. You shoot her a strange look.

 

“Since when did you need to read something like _that_?” You ask.

 

“Since Seulgi threw this on my bed last night,” she replies bitterly.

 

Oh. So that explains the yelling from their room last night. You usually hear moaning at night but well, you were not complaining last night. Not really.

 

Irene puts the book down on the coffee table. She faces you and now you see her tired puffy eyes that you can only guess is a result of crying all night.

 

“Wendy, am I boring?” She asks all of a sudden, desperation in her tone.

 

“What?”

 

“Am I boring? Like … in general, am I a boring person?”

 

You knit your eyebrows. Honestly, how can Irene even think she’s boring when, out of the five people you live with, she was the first one that caught your attention?

 

“Unnie, you’re not boring.” You mean it. Irene is a lot of things but boring is not one them.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes, I am very much sure.”

 

“Am I too old then?”

 

Your eyes bug out at the question. “What?”

 

“Come on, Wendy. Just answer me.”

 

“What do you even mean by too old? You’re not that much older than I am.”

 

“That’s it! I’m old and boring.” Irene crosses her arms, eyebrows furrowing.

 

“Wha - what? Unnie, I didn’t say that!” You say defensively. “You’re not too old and you’re not boring.” You squeeze Irene’s arm as if to prove a point. “What’s the problem? Did Seulgi do something?”

 

Irene sighs deeply. “Seulgi and I fought last night,” she starts. “She’s been hanging around Krystal a little too much lately.”

 

“Krystal? Her ex-girlfriend?”

 

Irene nods. “I get that they’re still friends and all but …”

 

“They still have a history that you can’t really compete with?” you supply.

 

“Yeah … and she’s really beautiful too.” There's a mix of admiration and bitterness in her voice.

 

You want to laugh. So, Bae Irene is jealous and insecure because of another woman. This is a new sight. In the few years that you’ve known her, you always see Irene as someone who’s admirably confident, a lowkey if-you-got-it-flaunt-it type of woman. And she is most days. She gets insecure about herself, sure, but it’s typically not because she compares herself to another woman.

 

Irene lets out a long frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what to do, Wendy.”

 

“Come here,” You open your arms and Irene draws closer to you. You wrap your arms around her. “We don’t call Seulgi _whipped bear_ for nothing. Seulgi is so whipped for you. She loves you.”

 

“I know that. I’m just … ugh, I don’t know.” She groans.

 

“You’re just a little jealous. Nothing wrong with that.” You pat her head. “I mean, I do get jealous too when Joy talks to a certain guy -”

 

“Dohwan?”

 

“Whatever his name is.” You roll your eyes. You always refrain from speaking the name of the devil. “Anyway, my point is it’s normal to feel that way because you care about Seulgi. You love her. Of course, you’ll get jealous when she gives too much attention to a girl who isn’t you."

 

“Thank you, Wendy.” Irene whispers with a smile.

 

“Plus, Seulgi’s not dumb. She won’t leave you for anyone, unnie. Not until hell freezes over.”

 

Irene rests her head on your shoulder. You squeeze her arm one more time before pulling the older girl into a tight hug.

 

“So I come home to not one but two cheaters!” You and Irene almost jump at the loud familiar voice. You both turn around and see Joy standing tall on the back of the couch and looking at the two of you with accusing eyes.

 

Seulgi is there too, just behind Joy. Standing still. Avoiding eye contact.

 

“Yah! You scared me, you Goliath!” Irene says, a hand clutched on her chest.

 

“That’s what you deserve, grandma. You’re being lovey-dovey with my girlfriend.” She says childishly then turns to Wendy, “And you! On our 100 day anniversary, no less!”

 

“You’re ridiculous, babe.” You roll your eyes at your tall girlfriend. “And why are you guys back early? I haven’t finished the cupcakes yet!”

 

And as if on cue, Yeri yells from the kitchen, “Cupcakes are all gone!”

 

“What the hell! Kim Yerim!” Joy makes a quick walk to the kitchen. You’re sure you saw Yeri and Saeron retreating through the back door.

 

Now, you are left in the living room with Seulgi and Irene awkwardly avoiding each other’s eyes.

 

“So … are you two going to talk it out or …?” you ask then purse your lips, glancing back and forth at your two friends.

 

“I’m going to my room,” Irene states. She grabs the book and moves to her room. You’re not sure whether the slamming of the door is intentional or not.

 

You move towards Seulgi and tap her shoulder. “Seul, talk it out with her, okay?”

 

“What’s the point? We’re just going to yell at each other again.” Seulgi huffs.

 

“I wonder what will Jennie think once she finds out Irene-unnie is finally single,” you hum teasingly.

 

Seulgi quickly slaps your arm. “Are you really my friend or what?”

 

You shrug, “I mean she and Jennie would make a great power couple if you think about it.” A smirk forms on your lips. “I overheard Chorong-sunbaenim gushing about her too. What do you think, Seul?” You taunt her even more, grinning widely.

 

Seulgi’s only response is a deadly glare and a loud exhale. “I hate you,” she mutters in annoyance. You know she doesn’t mean it. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

 

“Get your girl back, Seul.” You chuckle. You push her until you both reach the door of Irene’s room. “I gotta get back to mine. Good luck!” you whisper and give her a tap on the back.

 

 

 

 

 

The next thing you know, you and your girlfriend swiftly play the loudest song you can find on your playlist to mute the moans coming from the older couple’s room. You cover Yeri’s ears while Joy covers Saeron’s.

 

“Fucking tone it down!” Joy throws her shoe against the door of Irene’s room.

 

There is no response except a loud crash - must be a pillow or a book, you're not sure which one - against the back of the door.

 

You put your hands on the youngest couple’s shoulders and walk them out. “Why don’t you two go out, huh? Go to the amusement park or something?” You pull out a good amount of money from your pocket and hands it over to Yeri, who’s confused expression vanishes the second she sees the money. “Have fun!” You watch the two walk away hand in hand before adding, “Not too much fun though!”

 

It’s confirmed. You’re the only logical person in this house.


	5. Jennie

_“Human beings are most inclined to love the things that hurt them the most not because we are masochists by birth, but because we are taught from a young age that true love is going to, is supposed to, hurt you in ways you cannot fathom.”_

_\- Lorina Ament_

 

 

* * *

 

 

The loud moans coming from the other room wakes you up. You don’t even have to wonder what or who are they doing. Your roommate, Irene, and her fuckbuddy, Seulgi, are going at it again.

 

You angrily pound on the walls that divide your rooms. For a second, they tone it down and you think it’s finally over. But then you hear a muffled scream of Irene’s name and _good lord_ , you wish to burn the whole apartment down.

 

You take your phone from the nightstand and play the relaxing, most non-sexual song on your playlist, hoping it would be enough to put you back to sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t.

 

You already listened to an entire playlist of rap songs but none was enough to tone down or silence the sounds of sex happening next room.

 

About an hour later, you hear the front door shut. You quickly jump out of bed and walk out of your room. Irene is comfortably sitting on the kitchen counter, wearing just an oversized gray shirt and underwear. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun.

 

“Do you ever plan on soundproofing your room?” You ask with an annoyed but teasing smirk.

 

“Good morning to you too, Jen.” Irene smiles wickedly.

 

“It’s 4:30 in the morning, unnie.”

 

“So? It’s morning, isn’t it?”

 

You roll your eyes at her. You grab a cup and start making coffee. “So did you tell her yet?”

 

Irene arches an eyebrow. “Tell who what?”

 

You take a sip of the bitter coffee you made before answering, “Did you tell Seulgi that you’re in love with her and that you want more than just this kind of arrangement with her?"

 

The smile on Irene’s face fades faster than you can gulp down another sip. She sighs, “It’s not that easy. I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

 

“What exactly do you two have?”

 

She pauses, tapping her fingers against the marble countertops. “I … I don’t know. But it’s something.”

 

Now it’s your turn to heave a sigh. “It’s something complicated and you will end up hurting yourself if you keep it up.”

 

To be honest, you don’t think you’re any better than Irene in this situation but you have seen things like this before, heard of arrangements like this and they usually don’t end up good. You don’t want Irene, a person who managed to steal your heart the first time you see her smile, to end up being tossed aside as if she didn’t mean anything.

 

Irene deserves better.

 

You hope she knows it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You work as a barista at the cafe near the university. The place is usually quiet and relaxing but today it’s filled with dancers from the university. Your eyes catch Seulgi’s tall stature running back and forth in an attempt to get her phone back from her friends. One of them is with a long orange hair and bangs which you recognize from one of your classes.

 

“They’re so loud,” Jisoo, your co-worker, complains when she comes back behind the counter after serving the group with their orders.

 

“Loud noises are my friends,” You say with a hint of annoyance in your tone.

 

Jisoo sniggers. “Your roommate and her fuckbuddy did it again?”

 

“What else is new, right?”

 

“I told you if you ever need a place to crash in, my apartment is always open.”

 

“Thank you but I think I’ll stay in mine. I pay half the bills anyway.”

 

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” Jisoo shrugs.

 

The roar of laughter coming from the dance group startles you. Your attention shifts to the clamorous group who’s now occupying three tables in the back. Seulgi is standing at the back, an embarrassed blush creeping on her cheeks.

 

“Just tell her already, would you! Don’t be such a coward,” Hyoyeon, the famous dance machine of the university, says out loud. She throws Seulgi’s phone to the person beside her. “Lisa, hit her up.”

 

“Aye, aye, captain!” The orange-haired girl salutes with a grin. She starts typing something on Seulgi’s phone while the others restrain Seulgi from getting her phone back.

 

“She doesn’t like me like _that_! Come on! Give me back my phone!” Seulgi continues to protest.

 

“Sure she doesn’t,” Momo comments sarcastically. “She just likes your fingers and tongue and whatever else you use -”

 

Momo doesn’t get to finish her sentence because Jeonghwa quickly shoves a breadstick on her potty mouth.

 

It feels as if you know what and who they’re talking about. It must be about Seulgi and Irene’s agreement. And if the things you heard are right, Seulgi must be developing feelings for your goddess of a roommate too and that the feelings are mutual.

 

You wish you’re correct about this.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The days continue as normal.

 

Irene comes home at exactly 7:00 in the evening and sometimes you come home a little later than her. When you get to your apartment, she already prepared dinner for the both of you. She always waits for you because eating alone makes her feel lonely and you feel the same so the two of you compromise and wait for the other every night.

 

Irene makes the best jjajangmyeon in the world; it’s the best one you’ve ever tasted yet. But this tteokbokki she just made is otherworldly.

 

“This is delicious, unnie,” you say.

 

“Thank you.” She smiles.

 

You follow Irene to the couch and watch the latest drama that you’ve come to like only because she follows it every Monday and Tuesday without fail. You used to tease her about having a crush on Park Seojoon but it turns out she’s watching it for Kim Jiwon.

  
  
  


Everything feels normal.

 

Until you glance at Irene and she’s tearing up and forcing tteokbokki in her mouth. Even though you’re both watching a drama, you just know that it isn’t the reason for her tears.

 

In three years of being her roommate, you have never seen her like this. You have heard her cry before though - _the wall between your rooms isn't exactly thick_ \- but seeing her cry is a different thing. Irene never lets anyone, not even you, see her cry before.

 

You place down the plate on the table and shift in your seat to face her. “Unnie, what’s wrong?” you ask worriedly.

 

Irene quickly swallows down the food and dries her tears. Irene, ever the stubborn that she is, shakes her head in response.

 

“Is this about Seulgi?” you try again.

 

No answer.

 

Irene has always been good at masking her feelings that you think she’ll make an amazing actress if she wants to be. It’s a talent that just comes naturally for her. Although you wish it isn’t the case because even though you spent three years of your life with her in this tiny apartment and even consider her one of your best friends, you still feel like you don’t know her. You only know what she chooses to show you. And unfortunately for you, Irene doesn’t show much of herself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It rains later that night.

 

What started as a light melancholic pouring rain ends up as a heavy pour with a growl of thunder and lightning. You're afraid that the whole building might tremble under the thunderstorm.

 

You tug the blanket higher and cover yourself with it.

 

_BOOM!_

 

The rain continues to cascade like waterfalls from heaven.

 

You’re not that religious but you utter a word of prayer under your breath.

 

There’s a loud, incessant knock on your door. You get up and who else would be on the other side if it isn’t your scaredy-cat roommate?

 

Irene is hugging her favorite yellow duck-patterned blanket. “C - can I stay with you?” she stutters.

 

How can you say no?

 

It’s not like you would, anyway.

 

“Of course,” you answer. You let her in your room without hesitation. You only realize now that your books and notes are everywhere. “Sorry about the mess.”

 

Irene doesn’t say anything. She quietly sits on the edge of your bed.

 

_BOOM!_

 

She almost jumps.

 

So ... she’s afraid of thunderstorms. That’s a brand new information.

 

You put a hand over her shoulder and rub her arm in an attempt to comfort her. “You take this side,” you point at the side near the wall. “And I take this side. Is that okay?”

 

The older, terrified girl nods.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It turns out karma is a bitch.

 

Karma is lying so close to Irene in your small twin-sized bed. Feeling the warmth of her skin against yours. Listening to the rhythm of her heartbeat. Her breath tickling against your neck.

 

Is this what you get for not telling her sooner?

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You won’t have to complain about us being loud and disgusting anymore,” Irene says all of a sudden.

 

The downpour outside continues, along with the long rumbles of thunder.

 

“What do you mean, unnie?”

 

“Seulgi and I broke our deal.”

 

Your eyebrows furrow. Were you wrong about what you heard in the cafe last week?

 

“Seulgi is seeing someone else,” you hear the overwhelming distress in her tone. “She’s seeing someone else while fucking around with me, Jen.”

 

You dig your nails into your palm, teeth clenching. You want - _need_ \- to punch something. Or someone.

 

“I hate that I let myself get into this shit.”

 

Your other hand, the unclenched one, strokes Irene’s cheek. “It’s not your fault, unnie.”

 

It’s true. It’s not her fault at all. It’s that stupid Kang Seulgi’s fault. That annoyingly foolish dancer who has most girls in the university wrapped around her finger. That Kang Seulgi who has the audacity to hurt Irene.

 

Irene, the person you’ve been so close with yet still loving her from afar.

 

 _God_ , Irene deserves so much better.

 

“You deserve so much better,” you finally utter the words to her. Her big doe eyes are now staring at you. “You do, unnie.”

 

“I love her, Jennie.”

 

“I know you do.”

 

Irene nestles in your arms, pulling her blanket up. “She used to cuddle me during thunderstorms. Now I got no one.”

 

“You got me.”

 

_You always have._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's rushed but I hope you liked it. Thank you for reading. - Jaye


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